Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
