I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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