i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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