We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I AM VODKA MAN
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.