Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I hate having morals and standards the next morning.

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  (732): I hate having morals and standards the next morning. http://tfl.nu/3tqs
  Replies (9) Good night (2734) Bad night (1068)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?

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  (630): I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons.... (1-630): which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father? http://tfl.nu/vh34
  Replies (31) Good night (1113) Bad night (5375)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.

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  (484): its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed. http://tfl.nu/kf6i
  Replies (22) Good night (6469) Bad night (547)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.

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  (303): okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it. (785): again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now. http://tfl.nu/6i8m
  Replies (36) Good night (1589) Bad night (7022)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.

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  (774): It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God. http://tfl.nu/c3gg
  Replies (75) Good night (24379) Bad night (1311)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.

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  (813): We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response. http://tfl.nu/3ka8
  Replies (16) Good night (7599) Bad night (1396)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.

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  (315): I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever. http://tfl.nu/6dcd
  Replies (20) Good night (6383) Bad night (1109)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside

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  (703): still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside http://tfl.nu/23it
  Replies (8) Good night (1003) Bad night (3163)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.

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  (734): So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things. http://tfl.nu/gsnh
  Replies (10) Good night (3773) Bad night (1087)
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  (760): View more from California

  i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now

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  (760): i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now http://tfl.nu/mcne
  Replies (6) Good night (2283) Bad night (828)
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  (707): View more from California

  And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa

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  (707): And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa http://tfl.nu/9onc
  Replies (12) Good night (1988) Bad night (897)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages

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  (901): its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages http://tfl.nu/zo01
  Replies (9) Good night (688) Bad night (1216)
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  (949): View more from California

  he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.

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  (949): he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/m9y7
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (765)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!

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  (904): They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??! http://tfl.nu/4zc8
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (335)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.

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  (479): Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though. http://tfl.nu/vam2
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (234)

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