He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
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Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window