Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I deserve this hangover.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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