If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
