He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm at about main and main street
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
