I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
