I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize