I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
