Tell her she can't have a vagina
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
