I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
