By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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