I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
ttyl tear gas
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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