: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
