I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
