Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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