I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize