Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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