So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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