you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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