Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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