I can tuck mytits in my pants
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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