the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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