xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
