I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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