Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
