East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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