Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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