Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
