How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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