she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
