there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
