I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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