Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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