Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
