party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
