rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
