xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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