you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
