Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
