all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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