now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
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My breasts were aching with rage.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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