I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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