You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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