i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
