she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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