Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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