he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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