My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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