her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
