i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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