Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
