Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
