Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
