Your tits are I can't wait for
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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