plz talk dirty to me
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
