David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
