Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize